Me Hyphen Baby

A good friend once compared her engagement to her now-husband as a type of "hyphen" between being single and being married.  It's a dynamic time period in one's life where the boundaries between yours, mine, and ours are fuzzy, especially to people outside of your relationship.  People will say, "Just wait til you're married," as if your relationship now as an engaged couple (or before as a couple dating) isn't as serious as it will be when you are married, simply because you haven't yet been able to file a joint tax return.  I have been married now for a little over a year and a half and I have discovered a different type of hyphen in life-- the time between getting married, and having children.

Just like the hyphen of engagement, people on the outside of your relationship are focused only on the next thing.  If they haven't come up to you and blatantly asked, "So, when are you having kids?" it's definitely on their minds.

This topic has been weighing heavily on my mind for some time now.  First it was because of my job.    90% of the people I work with are women.  85% of the people I work with (including the men) have children.  While I very rarely get asked if or when I will start popping 'em out, I get these gems instead:

"You're so lucky you can do whatever you want."

and

"You'll understand when you have kids of your own."

Last summer, I was faced with another hurdle between myself and Those-Who-Have-Kids... Beachbody.  To me, the most obvious people out there who want to lose weight and get healthy are moms.  And rightly so.  In an effort to give all they have to their kids (as my mom has and does for me and my brother), they put themselves and their health on the back burner.  They've maybe put on weight, or never lost the weight they gained when they were pregnant.  They don't have the time to spend working out because they are providing for their families.  They may not believe they deserve to set aside time.

But this is not me.

I am very busy.  I work a full-time job as a teacher and a part-time job as the Business Manager for the local high school theater.  I take care of all the household responsibilities:  cook dinner, go grocery shopping, clean, do laundry, pay the bills, run general errands.  I love working out, and I make it part of my day, like brushing my teeth and washing the dishes.  I need to make sure I make time for my husband, my family and my friends.  I very rarely, if ever, have extra time.

Yet, I took a leap of faith, joined Beachbody, and suddenly found more time that I didn't know I had to work that business too.  Some of it was easy, because I was already working out, cooking dinner, packing my own lunches.  But some of it was harder to fit into my day-- weekly nighttime conference calls, posting more to social media, doing personal development, creating a blog.  What I realized was that, if you love something, if it's of value in your life, if it's WORTH it, you will make the time. Does anyone REALLY have the time to have kids?  Does anyone sit around pre-baby, and think, jeez, I'm so bored, a baby would really fill up my day?  NO.  People have kids because they want to love something, to nurture something, something that is a representation of the love that they share with their partner.  If anything, people probably think, "I don't have time for a baby!"  Yet millions of people have them and millions of people find the time.

So here I am, in my hyphen world with my Beachbody baby.  And I am having a hard time, a REALLY hard time, connecting to people like me.  People in this hyphened state of life.  People pre-baby.  I'm having a hard time showing people what a fantastic baby Beachbody can be.  How it can fill your life with so many good things, that you find the time for it that you didn't think you had. Parents will say to me, "You'll understand when you have kids of your own..."  Maybe that's true.  That I can't truly understand what it's like to love until I have a child of my own.  That I don't know what I'm missing.  BUT I also know that I had no idea what I was missing with Beachbody until I became a coach.

So this is where I sit.  Unsure where to go next.  Do I take a leap and reach out to more people "like me"?  Do I sort of just glide along until I have kids and finally "understand"?  How do I show people like me that they can find the time to do something like this and it will be worth it?

The Craziest Thing I've Ever Done

The 8-Hour Diet (Intermittent Fasting)

As a middle school reading teacher, something I like to talk to the kids about a lot is connotation.  Middle school is where their vocabulary starts to (or should, anyway) really pick up.  They are learning that there are other ways to "like" something, to "say" something, and to think something is "nice".  When I teach them new words or when they hear or read new words in their books, we try to talk about the best way to use those words.  Sometimes, who words can mean the exact same thing, but one can have a more negative connotation than the other.

Like the word "diet."

Did you know that in Merriam-Webster, it's not until the fourth definition that "restriction of food in order to lose weight" is mentioned?  Simply put, a "diet" is what someone eats on a regular basis for nourishment.  That's it.

I hate hate people suggest I'm on a diet because I think about the nutritional benefits of something before I put it in my mouth.  Because I try to eat appropriate portions of food.  Because generally, when I eat crap, I feel like crap.  With that being said, take the title of my next lifestyle choice with a grain of salt (no pun intended).  I am about to try the 8-Hour Diet.

Insert gasp.

I was first introduced to this idea on a Chalene Show podcast episode featuring Melissa McAlllister, who calls it the 8-Hour Ab Diet.  Basically, it is a type of Intermittent Fasting.  THAT I learned more about on a 2-part Chalene podcast with Dr. Sara Solomon.  Obviously you have some question...

What is Intermittent Fasting?
As long as you're getting about 8 hours of sleep and not eating during that time (if you are, maybe talk to a doctor...) you are fasting!  Fasting (in terms of eating) is any period of time that you are not eating.  The average person usually fasts between 8-12 hours, again, while they are sleeping.  Intermittent Fasting takes that 8-12 hours and stretches it to anywhere from 16-20 hours of fasting in a day.  This is not necessarily a daily occurrence.  Some people follow Intermittent Fasting for as few as 3-4 days a week.  Some do an 8-Hour Diet for 4-5 days and a 4-Hour Diet for the other days of the week.  It is completely customizable to your schedule and what works for you.

How does it work?
The 8-Hour Diet assumes that you are fasting for 16 hours every day and eating all of your food in an 8-Hour window.  So, you might eat your first meal at 11 am and your last meal at 7 pm.  Or maybe your first meal at 8 am and your last meal at 4 pm.  Why?  Science shows that during the first 8 hours of a fast (aka, while you're sleeping), your body is metabolizing your stored carbohydrates.  After that first 8 hours, it moves onto your stored fat.  Prolonging a fast gives your body more time to get rid of that nasty fat you might be hanging on to.  Yaknowwhatimean?

How can this be safe?
One reason (of many) that diets (when we think about deprivation of calories) often fail is because our body's metabolism adjusts to the deprivation of calories and nutrients and goes into a panic mode.  It holds onto fat, worried that you will continue to not feed it enough to keep everything running as it should.  With Intermittent Fasting, you are not depriving yourself of calories, you are just adjusting WHEN you consume them.

Who is it good for?
This lifestyle can really work for anyone!  For people who tend to "binge eat", eating all your calories in a 4-hour window might be a dream!  For people who lead extremely busy, on-the-go lifestyles, it might be a relief to not have to worry about fitting in a snack during 16-hours of the day.  For people who are constantly hungry (like me), it works because I end up being hungry for less of the day, if that makes sense, since I get to eat more food in a shorter window.  A cup of fruit hardly holds me over for 2 hours, but a big salad and a cup of fruit will hold me over for 4 hours.

What can you eat?
Technically, you can eat anything you want.  What you SHOULD eat, like with any healthy lifestyle, is a well-rounded selection of fruits, veggies, proteins and carbs that are clean, whole foods.  Here's how my day used to look:
7:30 am:  Shakeology with protein and spinach
9:30 am:  Fruit
11:30 am:  Salad
2 pm:  Greek yogurt
4 pm:  Cauliflower and hummer
6 pm:  Starving for dinner
8 pm:  Avoid the pantry

NOW, with the 8-Hour Diet, my day will look like this:

11:30 am:  Salad, fruit, greek yogurt
2-4 pm:  Shakeology with protein and spinach, cauliflower and hummus
6:30-7 pm:  dinner

I love eating and I love the idea that I can pretty much eat til I'm full (which I never do when I eat every 2-3 hours) and then I can eat again when I'm hungry a few hours later.

What about exercise?
Dr. Sara Solomon suggests intense weight training in the middle of your fast.  Meaning, I really should keep my workouts at 4:30 am even though I'm not eating until lunchtime.  However...

Why am I doing this?
I found this "diet" to be the perfect solution to the dilemma I had when trying to coordinate a time to work out with my husband.  I am an early-bird.  I have no problem (in fact I enjoy) getting my weekdays started with a workout at 4:30 am.  I have to be a work at 7:15.  My husband would rather workout when he gets home from work at 6 pm.  However, I am usually so hungry when he gets home, we sit right down to dinner and then spend the rest of the night on the couch.  How could I make myself less hungry at 6 pm so that we could both push back dinner and get our workout in together?

I am definitely going to play around with this new lifestyle.  My husband and I aren't going to start doing 21 Day Fix together until May 11, so I'll have about a week and a half to keep my current morning workouts.  After my 10 mile race is finished on Sunday, I will do some heavy lifting and see what that does for me.  Maybe I'll do two-a-days... one morning workout and one with my husband at night.  I do love working out!

For more information about Intermittent Fasting, visit www.drsarasolomon.com or this great article at Men's Health.