A Food Dilemma: Poison or Pleasure?

I've been struggling lately.  I feel like a lot of people have.  I can feel it in the air.  I don't know if it the changing of the seasons or the start of school, but it seems like everyone around me is fighting their own personal battles.

I would've never been able to resist at Hogwarts

Mine, is food.

Last year, I got a real handle on my eating.  I wasn't heavy by any means, but I lost a good amount of fat that I was carrying around my middle and in my thighs.  I was eating more, eating cleaner, and lifting heavy.  I was drinking very little alcohol because I was exhausted every night from renovating my new home.  I felt strong both mentally and physically.

This year is proving to be a different story.  I have started training for my first marathon, a HUGE bucket list item that I never thought would be possible after my knee surgery.  And I know that one of the main struggles for runners can be eating TOO much... especially too much carbs.

So, I've been watching what I eat... at least, I think I have.  And I've been working out, hard, every day.  And yet, the pounds, and the fat, have been creeping back.

This makes me angry and frustrated!  Meanwhile, my good friend Bethany over at Living Between Labels is struggling with her own autoimmune issues.  She has been forced to cut out MAJOR foods, like tomatoes and wheat, because they cause her body to, essentially, attack itself.  The two of us, along with many of our other friends in the health and fitness world, talk daily about what we should be eating, what we shouldn't be eating, how much to eat, when to eat it.  And then we have to help our challengers navigate these same questions and struggles.  And that just goes for people with no food allergies or health issues!

It's exhausting.  And the struggle to constantly make the right choices is real for a lot of people.  My friend and coach Kristin can't eat gluten or dairy, and for her, she says it's simple:  these foods are poison.  If you think about it like you're eating poison, it's very easy to say no.

But then, food is an addiction for many.  Just like cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana and cocaine are all poisons, people still put them in their bodies every day.  And while many people die from them, many don't.

Food gives me joy.  Pizza and chocolate and ice cream and pasta and chips and grapes and cheese and wine.  I feel good when I drink my Shakeology and eat my salad for lunch and my lightly sweetened greek yogurt and my cauliflower and my turkey meatballs for dinner.  But those are not what I want.  But even when I do eat those consistently, sometimes it's not enough.  I want a treat.  Those are healthy in moderation.  But what is moderation?  One small portion a day?  One large portion a week?  You only live once, you know... what's wrong with having a glass of wine at dinner.

So here I sit, fighting with myself and my desires.  Do I want wine or do I want rock hard abs?  Do I want the guilt of eating a piece of chocolate or the agony of turning it down?  What is REALLY going to make me happy?  Food or 5% body fat?

You know what?  I'm not sure yet.  Whenever I think I know, I change my mind.

I want to live a long, happy, healthy life.  What's the recipe for that?